I am not very good with sharing what is on my mind. Talking and writing are hard for me, but typing is something I can do without much difficulty, that’s why this blog is so important to me. Everyone has problems, but sometimes mine seem to overshadow who I am.  Continue reading



Disabilities are hard, whether they consume your whole life or only part of it. Some people I know seem to complain so much about the few disabilities they have, but others with the same disabilities just learn to deal with them without complaint. Some can seem to handle hardships and pain, while others act as if the world is ending. Disabilities are not a unique thing; so many people have disabilities and that makes me feel less damaged, because I’m not the only one. Continue reading

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

“Dear sleep I know I didn’t like you when I was younger, but I love you now.”

Sleeping isn’t always easy for me, before I go to sleep I take a medication to relax my nerves enough so I can fall asleep. After a long day of working your muscles hard, you’re ready for good night and your muscles enjoy the relaxation of sleep, but my muscles don’t want to relax because they have not done enough activity all day. The medication I take is supposed to help my muscles relax and therefore help me sleep, but it doesn’t always work as well as it should. Most nights I wake up several times because my legs have been in one place for too long and are too uncomfortable for me to sleep any longer, and my husband is the unfortunate victim I wake to help me move my legs.

Sometimes when I can’t seem to sleep my mind just runs away with thoughts, thoughts about anything and everything, things I did the day before and things I need to do the next day. I have read that it’s connected with my nerve damage in some way personally I thought it was just an overthinking side effect of being female. Since it’s a problem other people suffer from I looked online for an answer to this issue and I found that an essential oil called Vetiver is thought to help, being a fan of essential oils, I began using vetiver every night before bed and to my excitement it helped.

“My nights are for overthinking; my mornings are for oversleeping.”

Getting a good night sleep is important for my body to function well, sleep is a must for any one’s body to function well, but it seems incredibly important for mine. My body has so very little energy on a good day that it is quite obvious when my body has not gotten the rest it needed.

On nights I sleep well, I dream. My dreams are almost always realistic with one incredibly wonderful difference, I can walk! There are many theories behind dreaming, mine are not hard to understand, I wish to walk.

“Sleeping is great, you forget about everything for a while.”


Monday morning, we woke up (earlier than I wanted to be awake) to hear the news, Santa Rosa was burning. The night before I remember telling myself to watch a certain YouTube video the next day I wanted to see but kept forgetting, the next morning though YouTube never entered my mind as we tried to decide if we should pack up and leave before a mandatory evacuation was given.

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